Small steps: forward, backward & sideways

I was barely two months into my protocol when I had my first setback. Stress is a huge factor in our lives. It can determine our physical, mental & emotional state. It also affects us spiritually, as we can either lean in to the Lord or be tossed about on the waves. Many times I asked the Lord to heal me, understanding that it was completely in His hands and whatever He chose to do was for His glory and my good. Sometimes it’s hard to ask for healing when we’ve been given so much already!

I am well-versed in herbal remedies, preparations, and many alternative treatments to care for my family. Thankfully, we have seldom had to seek care outside of our own “medicine” cabinet for the various ailments that childhood brings. I have numerous reference books; the internet is rife with information, and a great naturopath if I encounter something beyond my scope. I have some old school thinking ingrained in me – I know my children. I know their behavior, attitudes, strengths, weaknesses, and preferences. This knowledge is crucial to their “healthcare”. I’ve cared for them in sickness and health for many years now, so I am an expert – on my children.

Late one February night, my husband rushed my youngest child to the ER. We didn’t know what was going on with her. I had been treating her for about a month; we had taken her to an osteopathic doctor, recommended to us by Dr. Haas, and she was in the hospital for several days. Lots of antibiotics, IV’s and $$$ later, we never received a diagnosis. (This is another post, for sure!) When my husband took her to ER, I stayed up all night, texting and calling people to pray for her, my husband, and the doctors she would see. After a thorough examination, the ER doctor told my husband he had no idea what was wrong with her. I was scared.

There it was. Fear. My arch nemesis rearing it’s ugly head again.

Have you ever had a situation in life that you look back on and have no idea how you endured it? We have a few of those, mostly relating to our children. My daughter was finally discharged from the hospital and at the time I’m writing this, we are still working on her total recovery and health.

My husband and I took turns spending the night at the hospital with her while the other came home and cared for the rest of the family. It was exhausting, to say the least, and I had a newfound respect and admiration for parents of critically and terminally ill children. The Lord was gracious and we weathered the storm. I informed Dr. Haas of our situation, and we cancelled a couple of appointments – just until I knew my daughter okay. When I finally rescheduled, it was like starting over. I was so depleted and it felt like all my hard work was down the drain. He encouraged me, spent some extra time working on me and told me to guard my sleep and my diet.

Getting back into the swing of things was difficult. I felt like I was in a dance and I didn’t know the steps and there was no leader. Just moving around, going nowhere in particular: forward, backward, sideways, repeat.

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