What does hope look like?

Hope is a strange word, isn’t it? We use it so flippantly and yet it can be dashed in an instant, alongside our dreams. “I hope it doesn’t rain today,” is vastly different than, “I hope this works,” referring to a life-long pursuit. I always imagine that great inventors, such as Einstein and the Wright brothers, would put all of their science, logic, calculations and equations to the test, but is there an equation for hope? Is it calculable mathematically? I don’t think so, but I’m sure they “hoped” all of their hard work and scientific exactness would pay off. It’s inherent to us, to hope. I had it now, too.

For 3 months, I diligently followed the protocol. I was impressed by the professionalism at Haas Wellness Center. All of my responsibilities were clearly mapped out and given to me in this neat folder with important areas highlighted. A schedule was typed up with all of my supplements and the time and frequency I was supposed to take them. I hung this on the inside of our “supplement” cabinet so there was never any question. I had phone call/text access, email reminders of appointments and was encouraged to take note of how I felt and discuss it the next time I saw him.

It wasn’t all smooth sailing. Dr. Haas told me to be careful exercising with adrenal fatigue. I absolutely could not go for a run or walk briskly – not yet. I needed some healing under my belt and if I did these things, I was actually hindering my progress. So those three months of doing “Insanity” were completely taxing to my body! No wonder I hated it! I was to do the rebounder, gentle walking, preferably with sun on my face, ¬†or yoga that wasn’t intense or hot. I started out rebounding and could only do about 15 minutes until I started to feel dizzy. My girls actually had to help me off the rebounder a few times when I was too exhausted or the room felt like it was pitching.

I also had to exercise caution with the detox baths as well. Once, I completed my 20 minute detox bath and went to shower off, which is a necessary part of the protocol. While I was in the shower, the glass started spinning around and around and I thought I was going to fall through it. I dropped to the tile floor and turned the shower to cold to try and shock my body. It didn’t work so I turned the water off and crawled from the shower to my bed, my hair dripping with shampoo. I couldn’t stop the spinning; I felt drunk and like I was having an out of body experience. Scared to death, the girls called my husband and I tried to tell him what was happening. He immediately headed home, and called Dr. Haas en route. Apparently, I had what was called a “blood dump” where my body detoxed too quickly. After a couple of hours of lying perfectly still and drinking water with magnesium, I stabilized, but I was incredibly weak. My husband made a roasted chicken with steamed broccoli and I managed a few bites. I honestly don’t remember if the shampoo got rinsed out that night or the next morning!

I stuck with it, though, because I was seeing and feeling results. Small, incremental steps – not huge overnight changes, which made sense to me. What a blessing! Dare I say it? I had hope.

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